New Year Resolutions
I hate writing this ; )
As I lie on my bed, a cup of warm coffee on the side, chatting on the sidelines with close friends on Messenger, life seems good. I doubt I would be able to come up with anything to do for the new year.
It’s so ‘me’ to be easily contended with life and wishing the coming year would just be the same (same meaning progress at the same steady pace, not stagnation).
But when I look a little further, my room is in a mess. My ‘dirty corner’ is starting to look like the scale model of an avalance aftermath. I’m tired, having a slight sinus and still feeling a little lonely in my room.
The hurridly written scrap of paper I call my ‘2009 resolution’ is lost somewhere, but from I can remember I seems to have acomplish quite a number of them.
I reached the summit of Mt Kinabalu, established contact with almost everyone on my messenger (and deleted those that I couldn’t get in touch with, lists are meant to be trimmed), deleted my unused Friendster profile right before it was sold off, told someone special how I felt about her (and this I’m proud off) set up a fully wireless home entertaintment network.
About the last item on the list, I manage to leverage on my existing wifi connection and some gadgets I got throughout the year to release my movies, pictures and MP3’s from their earthly bond and set them free over ether. Wirelessly streaming it to my TV, radio, various computers connected to the router and setting up a web based radio station (so I can listen to my tunes at work) Yay!
So looking forward to the new year, here’s 10 things I started start with:
- Be healthy. Stay out of clinics and hospitals.
- Be happy. Never overcomplicate life’s little hurdles.
- Stop getting new electronics that I already have (and stop upgrading the computer!)
- Keep my ‘dirty corner’ no larger than the drawer it’s currently in.
- Redecorate bedroom. Add a working table and a new cabinet.
- Make time and join the firm’s Annual Trip and Dinner!!!
- Leave the office latest by 9pm each working day (had to add this in).
- Remember to file my taxes on time!
- Make at least 5 new friends.
- Keep moving on in life, stop dwelling on the past.. there are still people out there!
Ads: Nothing is impossible with a good sleep (OSIM)
Client: OSIM HONG KONG
Advertising Agency: JWT Hong Kong
Creative Directors: Steven Lee, Timothy Chan, Ming Chan
Art Directors: Ben Ling, Ming Chan
Copywriters: Timothy Chan, Jessie Fung
Illustrator: S. Kwan
Photographer: William So
Print Production: Jimmy Pong
Published: September 2009
Top 10: Corporate Clichés
No.10 – “Viral”
We probably all owe the Star Wars Kid, Leeroy Jenkins and Tay Zonday our thanks for giving us a good laugh. However, because of their viral videos, they’ve also created an unfortunate side effect in the corporate word, which is the compulsion for every company to want to “go viral”. While “viral” was initially co-opted to describe the way funny homemade videos were sent from one person to the next, the expression in the corporate world now describes any desire to spread an idea, period. “Good idea. This needs to go viral throughout the company!” No one is immune.
No.9 – “Optimization”
As is the case with many of our corporate clichés, you can blame this one on IT. Initially used to describe the process of modifying a system to make it more efficient or to use less resources, it easily translated over to the corporate world where it’s used as a catch-all to describe how to improve anything from meetings to personal time management. Its most irritating use is its latest starring role as a positive term to explain why employees are being laid off: “To help optimize efficiencies for the company’s bottom line, 200 employees have been offered alternative plans.”
No.8 – “Shoulder to shoulder”
The origin of this meaningless corporate cliché can be drawn to one of the corporate world’s biggest sources for metaphors: warfare. “Shoulder to shoulder” is traditionally said in the context of “troops standing shoulder to shoulder,” but now it means any example of corporate camaraderie. If a group is being inflexible, “they’re really standing shoulder to shoulder on this one.” Or just like a coach inspiring his team, a manager will kick off a project with: “Let’s stand shoulder to shoulder on this one.” Of course, if this corporate cliché makes you cringe, you may not be as inclined to take your manager up on the offer.
No.7 – “Ideation”
How do you generate an idea? You would probably say you think — but the corporate world would prefer that you “engage in ideation.” Born from the brains of management consultants who used to describe the process of brainstorming or just simply coming up with an idea for a project, “ideation” now regularly pops up in any department involved with new ideas. “I’m still not convinced that CleanSqueak is the name for our bar of soap. I need more ideation time from you.” If the sound of this corporate cliché makes you want to punch something, just focus on ideation — you may be thinking too much.
No.6 – “Knowledge acquisition”
Largely used in an academic context, the term “knowledge acquisition” soon entered the corporate dictionary in contexts like this: “We require knowledge acquisition before we can proceed with this sell-through potential.” While anyone can easily say, “We need to learn this before we do this,” by replacing that with “knowledge acquisition” a manager might instantly cast the impression he is intellectually sharp and a wise leader. However, if you’ve sat through enough meetings with the same manager, you’ve probably heard it enough to acquire your own knowledge that “knowledge acquisition” is a corporate cliché.
No.5 – “Brain dump”
This corporate cliché has a shady past. It was once used to describe the process of someone taking an illegal snapshot of an IT certification exam. Now, brain dumps are used to describe any exchange of information between coworkers. Since office workers exchange information as regularly as they breathe, any expression used to describe this banal activity is inherently absurd.
No.4 – “Paradigm”
Technically defined as a framework for thinking about or seeing something, “paradigm” has earned its place as one of the classic meaningless corporate clichés. At first sight, and even at first listen, it can sound like a sci-fi term, possibly related to time travel. However, in a corporate boardroom it’s usually invoked to signify a revolutionary way of doing something or approaching something — “Twitter rewrites the rules. It’s a whole new paradigm.” The most egregious way of using “paradigm” is as a synonym for “thing.” For example: “We need to come up with a new paradigm.”
No.3 – “Going forward”
If you start an office pool to count the most-used corporate cliché, we recommend you put your money on “going forward.” It’ll probably win it for you by a landslide. Used to replace the expression “from now on” with something that sounds more action-oriented, “going forward” is a classic corporate cliché that doesn’t describe anything. Case in point: When asked about his future as England’s soccer captain, David Beckham replied: “Going forward, who knows?”
This translates as, “Who knows?” Going forward, consider that office pool — it could win you a lot of money.
No.2 – “Synergy”
What could sound like the name of a high-powered energy drink or a kid’s action figure is a normal word that means the cooperative action of two or more things working for a positive outcome. Often it’s used to describe two drugs working together to help someone. However, for a corporate world filled with mergers and departments, the metaphor of two units working to a common goal proved too irresistible. So, now instead of your boss saying: “Our departments need to work together,” he says: “Our departments need to improve our synergies,” which suddenly makes your annual report project sound like you’re working on a NASA shuttle.
No.1 – “Thinking outside the box”
This corporate cliché can be described this way: Your company is a box. You are in that box, but your company requires you to come up with ideas without using anything found inside the box. Confused? Don’t fret, management consultants came up with another classic corporate cliché to inspire you. Just think outside the box! This expression has now come to describe really any opportunity for a group or individual to think extra hard on something. Thanks to such widespread use, this corporate cliché may soon not be enough. Be prepared — can you think outside the circle?
Singapore 2009/10 Christmas Trip
Both needing to clear leave and a desire to visit an old friend (Nicole) in Singapore gave me an opportunity to spend my Christmas over at the land down south.
Initial plan was to join Nicole at Singapore while she bring me around but this gave way to a larger group of 4 consists of both of us + her younger bro and girlfriend. Just a nice number for a company of friends.
^ Singapore National Library
From a previous trip of mine I got to know of this online hotel reservation website that gave me some good prices so they get another round of business from me. Got this cozy room at Victoria Hotel right next to the national library and a stone throw away from Bugis.
^ Iluma Shopping Complex
Right opposite Bugis lies Iluma, the new shopping complex. The novelty lies in the brightly lighted outer facade and during the night it does provides a colorful experience!
^ Air Conditioned Bugis shopping district
Bugis is both old and new. There’s a air conditioned district where you get shops like Ajisen Ramen, Ministry of Food, McDonalds etc and the older more vibrant open air Bugis Street Market
^ Bugis Street Market
Incidentally the street market is where you get to experience the vibrancy of Singapore as compared to shopping and plain walking around Orchard road (another shopping district).
We saw this old man (picture above) working on Christmas day and can’t help but feel that the world is larger than any one race and Christmas is not celebrated across the world, holidays meant differently and most importantly, this must be what tourists felt like when I had to work back home ; )
Singapore is all ready for the big day and every other shopping complex across Orchard Road is competing with each other to be the next best attraction but the winner still seems to be ION with their LED facade and attractive water sculpture. They even had a huge crystal tree all set out to inspire awe.
^ Inside the ION Christmas Tree
Coca-Cola had a marketing PR blitz on Orchard road that day. Selling the fact that their bottle HASN’T changed in all these years, reminding everyone of the familiarity of the bottle etc. That’s a bit like telling your marketing department to go home for Christmas and getting a crew together and selling your old design as a tradition in itself. Lazy but effective.
^ Free coke is always good
According to my friend the decorations is not as good as last year and there’s no shows planned for the countdown. Only for new year’s eve. Blaming it on the economy. There are however a few good shows though such as those performed by the Urban Drum Crew.
^ Urban Drum Crew in action
They even had a little water play going on, piping water onto the drums itself and making it splash all over like Storm the musical. Nice~!
Singapore really tried to make everyone happy by decorating everything in sight. Like the paper teddy bear (picture above) they had lying around the MRT station’s corridors. It’s part of their social decoration and it is beautiful. Also impressive that no one damaged any of it. Given the same situation here in Malaysia, it would either 1) be damaged by some kids jumping or sitting on it or 2) get stolen in the middle of the night.
^ Singapore Skyline
We arrived on the 23rd so there’s about 2 night dedicated to taking in all the night scenery. Singapore is currently building it’s first casino, supposedly getting bored of looking across the causeway and seeing all the singaporeans over at Genting they decided they wanted a casino too and after all the bidding, Genting Group got the tender. LOL.
^ Starship Enterprise being built
We also had the chance to visit The Esplanade. Also known as ‘The Durian’.
Inside the esplanade is the local arts and heritage center. Also the venue for a couple of theater and performing art halls.
We took a day off visiting Sentosa Island the next day. Among the newer attraction is The Luge. This is similar to other versions we get in Australia or New Zealand. Nice knowing that we’re not missing out any of those.
What would be nicer though, is a roller coaster.
I’m not sure if there’s any smaller ones but Singapore desperately need an outdoor rollercoaster. Sure enough Sentosa is nice and the facilities are there. But other than clubs, arcades, plants and grasses, there’s not much to do for the thrill seekers. It would be just perfect if they can build something that gives the public an adrenaline rush.
Once again, there was nothing much to do on Siloso beach. We saw they’re building a stage to welcome the new year but again.. something’s missing there. Maybe it’s a bit too spartan for my liking but I’m actually missing the chaotic beaches of Malaysia. Where you can go running around with sand all over the body without getting weird stares as you walk in a seaside bar. People here actually do dress up nice and pretty for a beachside outing. Not to my liking.
With 6 hours more to Christmas we had time to burn.
The public transport in Singapore is top notch. Absolutely loved it. You can get a ticket and it’ll get you anywhere without having to re-purchase a ticket again. So unlike the LRT we have in Malaysia where interchange station doesn’t mean squat when you have to get out and buy a new ticket for another train even though it’s from the same company.
In fact we didn’t leave for Orchard Road where the supposedly countdown was being held until 30 minutes before midnight.
^ Ice-cream-robotic-arm-thingy game
We went to this cool arcade in Iluma where Nicole introduced me to this game called Jubeat Ripples. Absolutely hooked myself to it (it’s not the picture above, go Google for it).
Gameplay is simple. Just have to hit one of 12 mini screens when it says to to the beat of J-Pop. Like a mini Dance Dance Revolution except you can’t step on 9 odd squares at the same time but you can in Jubeat Ripples. Definitely worth a try.
We had to leave on Christmas day so it’s our last dinner for the trip. Had a gigantic piece of roasted pork in sweet marinating sauce and it was good. Serving portion is huge and it came fast. If I recall it’s called Empire State @ Iluma. Do try if you are there.
The crowd at Orchard Road 10 minutes before countdown was HUGE!
Never seen that many people congregated in a single stretch of road purely for Christmas Day. Back in Malaysia we used to have that many only for New Years and Concerts.
The countdown was a little disappointing cause there wasn’t any planned activities, no DJs, no music, no carol, no nothing. It was so depressing that the only place where we felt a little life was at this bar where the guitarist asked fellow patrons to sing along but even that didn’t work as people just sat there waiting to be entertained. I pity the guy on stage. Singing to puppets would bring greater joy.
The countdown was started by cries from tourists atop open roof tour busses as they went past. The everyone started spraying foam snows and then clappings and that was it.
Merry *yawn* Christmas.
Looking for something more exciting, we went to Clarke Quay. The place was ok but again it was overflowing with people. Night was late but no one was leaving although everyone seems wasted. We couldn’t find a seat anywhere so we left the place for our hotel. We grabbed some beers at the 7-11 downstairs and went back for some Big-2 in our room.
Somehow it made sense sometimes to think out of the box and not get trapped by tradition. I suppose we had more fun it the hotel room than hanging out at Clark Quay. Maybe because we can let loose and relax while knowing we can always turn off the lights and go to sleep when we’re dead tired without having to worry about getting aboard the last train for the night.
Woke up the next day late but in time for lunch. Had seafood ramen (picture above) and it was good. Come to think of it we didn’t try out McDonalds on this trip because Nicole had been a great host bringing us around trying everything else. ;)
Wish I can stay on till the new year but I need to balance my annual leave between visiting friends abroad and local so this will have to do till the next trip.
Merry Christmas!
I’ll be leaving for Singapore soon! It’s highly unlikely that I’ll get an internet connection until after Christmas so before I leave I’d want to wish everyone a
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
In the spirit of giving, I’m going to let you all download (in full) a Christmas artwork below!
^ Click to download in full (4000px 3020px)
Original artwork (author unknown):
