Midnight bird watching

Specially set my alarm clock to ring in the middle of the night so that I can get a sneak shot at the mother bird that will be (I assume) be nesting at her nest.

I couldn’t find the father anywhere so only managed to take the mother.

Pictures below are taken with night vision/shot mode. Pardon me the green tinge as I didn’t use flash.

The picture above have only the tail feathers of the mother bird. But you can see that the nest are way too small for her.

The image above are taken at a vertical angle. And I did not miss out her head for this shot.
But you should know that birds usually sleep with their heads tucked under their wings. Also this mother was protecting her youngs (from me I assume) so you cannot see those younglings.

Signing off,
ωϊΪΪϊαm §öö

Oil Changing Instructions

Men:

1. Go to Kragan auto parts and write a check for 50 dollars for oil, filter, oil lift (AKA kitty litter), hand cleaner and scented tree.
2. Make that 65 dollars for nothing but the best synthetic money can buy (at least that’s what the salesman said).
3. Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking back to Kragan to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.
4. Open a beer and drink it.
5. Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
6. Find jack stands under kid’s pedal car.
7. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
8. Place drain pan under engine.
9. Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
10. Give up and use crescent wrench.
11. Head of drain plug was really metric and is rounded off anyway; use vise grips.
12. Unscrew drain plug.
13. Hot oil runs down arm, into sleeve of coveralls (only 2nd degree burns; more beer to kill pain)
14. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on you in process.
15. Clean up.
16. Have another beer while oil is draining.
17. Look for oil filter wrench.
18. Give up; poke oil filter with Phillips screwdriver and attempt to twist it off.
19. Screwdriver tears the filter casing leaving the bottom of filter (screw on portion) attached to engine (()*^&#&%)*(&_&(%)! Should have put a little clean oil on gasket the last time you changed the oil.
20. Beer.
21. Buddy shows up; finish case with him. Finish oil change tomorrow.

22. Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car. (Slosh half of the oil on the ground)
23. Throw oil lift (AKA kitty litter) on oil spilled during step 22.
24. Set aside half-full oil pan.
25. Child playing in yard falls into half-full oil pan (at least its cooled off by now).
26. Wife threatens divorce.

27. Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.
28. Walk to 7-11; buy beer.
29. Install new oil filter making sure to apply thin coat of clean oil to gasket first (see step 19).
30. Just how did you get the old oil filter remains off… Ahhhhh, beer?
31. Pipe wrench! (plumbers eat your hearts out)
32. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine. (or was that the radiator?).
33. Remember drain plug from step 14.
34. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
35. Hurry to replace drain plug before the whole quart of fresh oil drains onto floor.
36. Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on frame.
37. Bang head on floor board in reaction.
38. Grit from underneath of car falls on eyes.
39. Wipe eyes with oil drenched hands.

40. Begin cussing fit. (23 minutes)
41. Throw wrench.
42. Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December (1992) in the left boob.
43. Clean up; apply Band-Aid to knuckle.
44. Beer.
45. Beer.
46. Dump in additional 4 quarts of oil.
47. Don’t worry about the oil spilled on the valve cover and manifold, it will burn off.
48. Beer.
49. Lower car from jack stands
50. Accidentally crush one of the jack stands
51. Move car back to apply more oil lift (AKA kitty litter) to fresh oil spilled during step 32.
52. Watch out for the…….Well it was time for a new tool box.

53. Drive car… What is that smell…oh yeah, step 47.
54. Did I remember to tighten that drain plug after banging knuckles (step 36)?

Women:

1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 since the last oil change.
2. Drink a cup of coffee.
3. 15 minutes later, write a check for $29.99 and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.

Sure seems like a rip-off to pay some flunky 30 bucks to do what you are darn well capable of Doesn’t it now?

Top 50 Oxymorons

50. Act naturally
49. Found missing
48. Resident alien
47. Advanced BASIC
46. Genuine imitation
45. Airline Food
44. Good grief
43. Same difference
42. Almost exactly
41. Government organization
40. Sanitary landfill
39. Alone together
38. Legally drunk
37. Silent scream
36. American history
35. Living dead
34. Small crowd
33. Business ethics
32. Soft rock
31. Butt Head
30. Military Intelligence
29. Software documentation
28. New York culture
27. New classic
26. Sweet sorrow
25. Childproof
24. “Now, then …”
23. Synthetic natural gas
22. Sport Van
21. Passive aggression
20. Taped live
19. Clearly misunderstood
18. Peace force
17. Extinct Life
16. Temporary tax increase
15. Computer jock
14. Plastic glasses
13. Terribly pleased
12. Computer security
11. Political science
10. Tight slacks
9. Definite maybe
8. Pretty ugly
7. Twelve-ounce pound cake
6. Diet ice cream
5. Rap music
4. Working vacation
3. Exact estimate
2. Necessary evil
1. Microsoft Works

Lessons to learn from Noah’s Ark

1. Don’t miss the boat.
2. Remember that we are all in the same boat.
3. Plan ahead. It wasn’t raining when Noah built the Ark.
4. Stay fit. When you’re 600 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.
5. Don’t listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.
6. Build your future on high ground.
7. For safety’s sake, travel in pairs.
8. Speed isn’t always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.
9. When you’re stressed, float a while.
10. Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.
11. No matter the storm, when you are with God, there’s always a rainbow waiting.

Why God Never Received University Tenure

1. He had only one major publication
2. And it was in Hebrew
3. And it had no references
4. And it was not published in a refereed journal
5. And some even doubted that He wrote it Himself.
6. It may be true that He created the world, but what has He done since then?
7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
8. The scientific community has had a very rough time trying to replicate His results.
9. He never applied to the Ethics Board for permission to use human subjects.
10. When one experiment went awry, He tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.
11. When subjects did not behave as predicted, He often punished them, or just deleted them from the sample.
12. He rarely came to class: He just told students to read the book.
13. He has his son teach the class.
14. He expelled His first two students for learning too much.
15. Although there were only ten requirements, most students failed His tests.
16. His office hours were infrequent, and usually held on a mountain top.